Urban Indulgence

So, I just read through this edition of The Stranger, and I feel a little better. I think that many of us are thinking just the same things. So, you should check it out for yourselves, but here are some choice quotes:

"To red-state voters, to the rural voters, residents of small, dying towns, and soulless sprawling exburbs, we say this: Fuck off. Your issues are no longer our issues. We're going to battle our bleeding-heart instincts and ignore pangs of misplaced empathy. We will no longer concern ourselves with a health care crisis that disproportionately impacts rural areas. Instead we will work toward winning health care one blue state at a time."
"Liberals in big cities who have never seen the inside of a Wal-Mart spend a lot of time worrying about the impact Wal-Mart is having on the heartland. No more."
"If red-state dads aren't concerned enough about their own children to put trigger locks on their own guns, it's not our problem. If a kid in a red state finds his daddy's handgun and blows his head off, we'll feel terrible (we're like that), but we'll try to look on the bright side: At least he won't grow up to vote like his dad."
"We officially no longer give a shit when family farms fail. Fewer family farms equal fewer rural voters. We will, however, continue to support small faggy organic farms, as we are willing to pay more for free-range chicken and beef from non-cannibal cows."
"'Cause we fucking founded this country, assholes. Those Founding Fathers you keep going on and on about? All that bullshit about what you think they meant by the Second Amendment? Who do you think those wig-wearing, lacy-shirt-sporting revolutionaries were? They were fucking blue-staters, dickhead. Boston? Philadelphia? New York? Hello? Think there might be a reason all the fucking monuments are up here in our backyard?"
"Arrogant? You wanna talk to us Northeasterners about fucking arrogance? Maybe I wouldn't be so fucking arrogant if I wasn't paying for your fucking bridges, bitch."
"The next dickwad who says, "It's your money, not the government's money" is gonna get their ass kicked. Nine of the 10 states that get the most federal fucking dollars and pay the least... can you guess? That's right, motherfucker, they're red states. And 8 of the 10 states that receive the least and pay the most? It's too easy. They're blue states. It's not your money, assholes, it's fucking our money. What was that Real American Value you were spouting a minute ago? Self reliance? Try this for self reliance: Buy your own fucking stop signs, asshole."